Raw.Real.Recovered.

I never much believed in the saying “If they wanted to, they would.” It always felt a little too black and white for me—too simplified, too dismissive of the messiness that is human nature. People have their own struggles, their own baggage, their own reasons for not doing the things we expect, right? That’s what I told myself for years.

But lately, I’ve been wondering if I gave people too much credit. Maybe I’ve been too good at making excuses for why someone only gave me crumbs when I deserved the whole damn meal.

Because here’s the truth—when someone really wants to be in your life, they show up. Not just when it’s convenient, not just when they need something, but in the real, steady, consistent way that says, I care about you.

For a long time, I accepted breadcrumbs. Little half-assed efforts. Excuses wrapped in pretty words. The occasional “check-in” that felt more like a guilt-relieving exercise for them than an actual attempt at connection. I convinced myself that these little pieces of attention were enough, that they meant something more than they did. Because let’s be real—sometimes, when you’re healing, when you’re still figuring out your worth, even crumbs feel like a feast.

But I don’t want crumbs anymore. I want people in my life who show up with full plates. Who meet me where I’m at, who pour into me the way I pour into them. I want mutual effort, not one-sided energy-draining performances.

I’m not saying people have to be perfect. Life gets hard, we all fall short. But there’s a difference between someone who genuinely tries and someone who throws you just enough to keep you around while never fully showing up. 

So, if they wanted to, they would? Maybe not always. But if they valued you the way you deserve, they’d at least try. And if they don’t? Then it’s time to stop waiting for a meal that’s never coming.