Category: Uncategorized

• A Prayer for When You Just Need a Little Extra

  Some days, it feels like I’m running on fumes. Like I’ve given everything I have—every ounce of patience, every bit of love, every last drop of energy—and yet, somehow, the world still asks for more. More strength. More kindness. More resilience.

  God, today is one of those days.

  I need You.

  I need Your presence like a steady hand on my back, pushing me forward when I want to sit and quit. I need Your love to wrap around me like armor, shielding me from the exhaustion, the doubt, the overwhelming weight of it all. I need Your energy, because mine is gone, and there are still people who need me.

  Fill me up, Lord.

  Fill me with enough grace to give to others without running dry. Enough patience to respond with kindness instead of frustration. Enough wisdom to know what truly matters and what I can let go of.

  Be my strength when mine fails. Be my rest when I can’t stop. Be my peace in the middle of the chaos.

  And, Lord? While You’re at it…

  A little extra love, a little extra favor, a little extra something-something to get through this day would be greatly appreciated.

  Amen

  March 25, 2025

  god, prayer, sobriety, spiritual

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• What Is Love? A Reflection on 1 Corinthians 13

  Love is one of the most overused words in our language, yet one of the least understood. We say we love coffee, love our pets, love our favorite TV shows—but real love, the kind that shapes and transforms, is something far deeper.

  The Bible gives us one of the clearest definitions of love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, a passage often read at weddings but meant for every aspect of life:

  “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

  This passage doesn’t just describe love—it shows us how love acts. So, what does this mean in real life?

  Love Is Patient and Kind

  Love doesn’t rush. It doesn’t demand immediate change or expect perfection. True love gives space for growth, healing, and mistakes. It is gentle, not harsh.

  Love Does Not Envy or Boast

  Love isn’t a competition. It doesn’t measure worth by comparison. It isn’t threatened by others’ success or fueled by the need to prove something.

  Love Is Not Proud or Self-Seeking

  Real love isn’t about control or manipulation. It doesn’t demand its own way but seeks to serve, to understand, to put others first without losing itself in the process.

  Love Is Not Easily Angered and Keeps No Record of Wrongs

  Love forgives. It doesn’t hold grudges or keep score. That doesn’t mean tolerating abuse or disrespect, but it does mean letting go of bitterness and resentment.

  Love Rejoices in Truth

  Love isn’t about pretending everything is fine. It stands for honesty, integrity, and righteousness. It calls out what is wrong while still holding space for grace.

  Love Always Protects, Trusts, Hopes, and Perseveres

  Love doesn’t give up at the first sign of trouble. It fights for what is good, holds onto faith, and endures through life’s storms. But love also knows when to let go—when protecting means walking away from what is toxic or harmful.

  The Ultimate Example of Love

  The greatest love story isn’t found in fairy tales or movies—it’s found in Christ’s love for us. A love that is sacrificial, unconditional, and steadfast.

  If we truly want to understand love, we have to live it—not just in words, but in action. Love isn’t just about how we feel; it’s about how we choose to show up for others, even when it’s hard.

  So, as you move through life, ask yourself: Is the love I give (and receive) patient? Kind? Honest? Selfless? If not, maybe it’s time to redefine love—not by the world’s standards, but by the truth of what it was always meant to be.

  March 22, 2025

  god, life, love, passion, spiritual

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• Who am I

  I am your eery cravings and impossible expectations

  A student of every romance living for the next introduction

  Born into deep desires and late night longings

  I am an ever changing epitome of perfection written in the name of pleasure

  Subliminal teachings on how to lose yourself for allure

  Grown into a sacrifice erasing any smudges of individuality blurring your reflection

  I am a vessel of unblemished fallacies and distinct gratification

  An impression of fantasy determined to claim admiration

  Your love comes at the cost of damage to an underlying identity

  A former spirit sitting in wait pending a release holding more significance than erasable markings on mirrors

  I am the essence of love with a touch thats too accommodating

  I am the condition of rejection is complete surrender

  With motivators of praise and an unwavering reverence Your preeminent complement and profound creation

  Who am I

  Author VD

  not mine, but I loved it so much. I had to share it for her. Hope y’all enjoy it.

  March 21, 2025

  blog, heartbreak, life, love, passion, poetry, writing

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• Falling in Love Is Overwhelming (and Terrifying as Hell) FYI never really knew what love was until 40 ! Late bloomer lol 

  You know that feeling when you miss a step going down the stairs, and for half a second, you’re convinced you’re about to die? Yeah, falling in love feels a lot like that—except it lasts for months, maybe years.

  Real, head-over-heels, holy-shit-I-can’t-breathe love is the most overwhelming and terrifying thing ever. It’s that all-consuming, can’t-stop-thinking-about-them, their-name-pops-up-on-your-phone-and-your-heart-nearly-explodes kind of love. It’s beautiful. It’s intoxicating. It’s also absolutely terrifying.

  Because what if you lose them? What if one day, the thing that makes your heart race and your stomach flip just… disappears? The mere thought of it is enough to send you into a full-blown existential crisis.

  And yet, here we are—diving in anyway, because as scary as it is, not loving at all would be so much worse.

  Falling in love means giving someone the power to break you but trusting they won’t. It’s surrendering to the chaos of emotions and hoping to God that the person you’ve handed your heart to will hold it gently. It’s realizing that, despite all the risks, love is still the most magical and maddening thing we’ll ever experience.

  It’s scary as hell. But maybe, just maybe, it’s worth it.

  March 21, 2025

  blog, life, love, mental-health, recovery

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• A Prayer for Someone Who Annoys the Shit Out of Me

  Dear God, 

  I come to you today with a heavy heart… and an even heavier urge to throat-punch one of your child. You see, this person—bless their clueless little soul—who tests my patience like it’s their full-time job. I know I’m supposed to be kind, forgiving, and all that enlightened nonsense, but I am STRUGGLING.

  Please grant me the strength to hold my tongue when they say yet another dumbass thing. Give me the wisdom to walk away before I roll my eyes so hard I give myself a headache. And most of all, please help me remember that I, too, have probably annoyed the hell out of someone at some point (though, let’s be real, not at this level).

  I ask for patience when they talk, tolerance when they exist in my space, and the ability to not let their ridiculousness ruin my day. And if all else fails, please send a minor inconvenience their way—nothing major, just a mysteriously disappearing left sock or a coffee that’s always slightly too cold.

  Amen. 

  P.S Your a Good Good Father !!! So Blessed and Grateful. 

  March 21, 2025

  life, prayer, recovery, spiritual

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• Neuroplasticity, Brain Mapping, and Why I Geek Out Over It

  Most people might find this boring, but you know what I find fascinating? Neuroplasticity and brain mapping. Specifically, how habits are created and broken. I don’t know why, but early in my recovery, I dove into this topic like my life depended on it (which, in some ways, it kind of did). Maybe it was just a great way to distract myself, or maybe my brain was desperate to understand why it had been working against me for so long. Either way, I went all in.

  And honestly? It blew my mind.

  Neuroplasticity is basically your brain’s ability to rewire itself. Turns out, those self-destructive thought patterns and habits I had spent years reinforcing? Not permanent. The brain can literally retrain itself, but the catch is—you have to put in the work. You have to disrupt the old patterns, create new ones, and repeat them enough for your brain to say, “Oh, okay, this is the new normal now.”

  It also explains why breaking bad habits is so damn hard. Our brains love efficiency, and if you’ve been doing something a certain way for years (even if it’s unhealthy), your brain is going to default to that because it’s familiar. It takes conscious effort to unlearn the old wiring and build something better.

  I think I became obsessed with this stuff because facts have always made more sense to me than emotions. You can tell me to “just feel my feelings,” and I’ll probably roll my eyes. But tell me why my brain responds the way it does, explain the science behind it, give me tangible proof that change is possible? Now you have my attention.

  (Probably also why I’m really good at detaching, but hey—that’s a whole other mental health issue for another day. Hahaha.)

  Anyway, if you’ve never looked into neuroplasticity, I highly recommend it—especially if you’re trying to break cycles, heal from old wounds, or just understand why you do the things you do. Turns out, we’re not as stuck as we think we are

  March 20, 2025

  addiction, life, mental-health, recovery, Science, sobriety

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• The Four Agreements: A Book That Might Actually Change Your Life

  If you’ve never read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, you really should. I don’t say that about many books, but this one? This one hits different. The concepts are so simple, yet so true, it’s almost unsettling. Like, “Why did no one teach me this sooner?” kind of true. I wouldn’t have listened. lol 

  The four agreements are:

  1. Be impeccable with your word.

  2. Don’t take anything personally.

  3. Don’t make assumptions.

  4. Always do your best.

  Sounds easy enough, right? Yeah no 

  For me, the hardest one is being impeccable with my word. Not just in the sense of not lying, but in the way I speak to myself and others. Words are powerful, and I’ve definitely thrown some around carelessly—especially considering I’m not good at thinking before I speak (no filter) . Learning to pause and be more mindful about what I say (and how I say it) has been a work in progress. It’s progress not perfection.

  But the real game changer? Not taking things personally. Once you realize that most of what people say and do has nothing to do with you, life gets a whole lot lighter. People project their own fears, insecurities, and traumas onto the world—onto you—but that’s their stuff. Not yours. So stop internalizing it. 

  10 out of 10 recommend reading this ! 

  March 20, 2025

  books, life, mental-health, recovery

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• Questionable Parenting 101: Things You Probably Shouldn’t Say to Your 14-Year-Old Son

  Look, I never claimed to be Parent of the Year. In fact, my parenting skills are questionable at best. I’m basically winging it with a mix of trial, error, sarcasm, and prayers that my kids turn out semi-functional despite my influence.

  But sometimes—sometimes—words just fly out of my mouth before I can hit the parental filter. And if you’ve ever raised a teenager, you know the struggle. There’s only so much patience a person can have before logic and calm go out the window, and you’re left saying things that probably aren’t in the “Healthy Parenting” handbook.

  So, in case you were wondering what not to say to your 14-year-old son, allow me to present a solid list of questionable (but honestly, sometimes necessary) parenting moments:

  1. “Your girlfriend is crazy. You need to find a new one.”

  • Look, I know we’re supposed to be supportive, but when your kid is dating someone whose emotional stability makes a rollercoaster look tame, it’s hard to keep quiet. I tried. I failed.

  2. “You shouldn’t be up all night with your toxic girlfriend who’s trying to kill herself. She needs to be committed.”

  • Heavy? Yes. Necessary? Also yes. Because my 14-year-old is not a crisis counselor, and we do not do codependency training in this house.

  3. “Stop being an asshat. What the fuck were you thinking?”

  • Classic parenting moment when they do something so mind-blowingly stupid, all rational responses exit stage left.

  4. “Kick my car one more time, and you’ll be walking.”

  • Because apparently, I now live in a world where a 14-year-old thinks he can just kick the back seat . Do I look like I have Uber written on my forehead?

  5. “The house is that way.”

  • Sometimes, words aren’t necessary. Just a solid point in the right direction when they start acting like rent isn’t due in respect and basic human decency.

  So yeah, probably not winning any gentle parenting awards anytime soon. But hey, we’re surviving, and that counts for something, right? I’m sure I could keep going, but we’re gonna leave it at this. 

  March 20, 2025

  blog, kids, life, mental-health, parenting, recovery

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• When “If They Wanted To, They Would” Starts to Make Sense

  I never much believed in the saying “If they wanted to, they would.” It always felt a little too black and white for me—too simplified, too dismissive of the messiness that is human nature. People have their own struggles, their own baggage, their own reasons for not doing the things we expect, right? That’s what I told myself for years.

  But lately, I’ve been wondering if I gave people too much credit. Maybe I’ve been too good at making excuses for why someone only gave me crumbs when I deserved the whole damn meal.

  Because here’s the truth—when someone really wants to be in your life, they show up. Not just when it’s convenient, not just when they need something, but in the real, steady, consistent way that says, I care about you.

  For a long time, I accepted breadcrumbs. Little half-assed efforts. Excuses wrapped in pretty words. The occasional “check-in” that felt more like a guilt-relieving exercise for them than an actual attempt at connection. I convinced myself that these little pieces of attention were enough, that they meant something more than they did. Because let’s be real—sometimes, when you’re healing, when you’re still figuring out your worth, even crumbs feel like a feast.

  But I don’t want crumbs anymore. I want people in my life who show up with full plates. Who meet me where I’m at, who pour into me the way I pour into them. I want mutual effort, not one-sided energy-draining performances.

  I’m not saying people have to be perfect. Life gets hard, we all fall short. But there’s a difference between someone who genuinely tries and someone who throws you just enough to keep you around while never fully showing up. 

  So, if they wanted to, they would? Maybe not always. But if they valued you the way you deserve, they’d at least try. And if they don’t? Then it’s time to stop waiting for a meal that’s never coming.

  March 19, 2025

  blog, life, mental-health

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• So Why Didn’t Anyone Tell Me That 40 Is Basically Puberty in Reverse?

  So Why Didn’t Anyone Tell Me That 40 Is Basically Puberty in Reverse?

  Listen, if someone had told me that turning 40 meant my body was going to be running on a three-part cycle of wanting sex, craving sugar, and needing naps, I would have saved up all my damn energy for this.

  Seriously. No one warned me. I spent my 20s and 30s running around like a lunatic, stressing over dumb shit, chasing the wrong people, using way too many drugs and trying to find energy for anything remotely enjoyable. And then BOOM—40 hits, and suddenly my body is like:

  • “Hey, remember how you used to struggle to get in the mood? Yeah, not a problem anymore. You’re basically a teenage boy now.”

  • “You know what you need? Carbs. Sugar. Peanut butter Oreos. Don’t question it, just obey.”

  • “Also, naps. Lots of naps. You can’t function without naps now.”

  Like…what kind of sick cosmic joke is this?!

  And let’s talk about the big O. Because WHAT THE HELL. All those years of trying so hard, focusing, stressing, chasing it like it was some kind of mystical unicorn—only for my 40-year-old body to be like, “Oh, you mean this? Easy. Done.”

  WHERE WAS THIS INFORMATION IN MY YOUTH?! I would have taken better care of myself! Conserved energy! Stopped wasting time on mediocre situationships with men who didn’t know what they were doing!

  Instead, here I am, worn out, semi-responsible, and slightly bitter that no one gave me the 40s survival guide.

  So, if you’re younger than 40, consider this your heads-up:

  1. Stop stressing. You’re gonna get better at all the fun stuff.

  2. Eat the damn cake. Your body’s gonna crave it later anyway.

  3. Learn to love naps now, because in a few years, they won’t be optional.

  And if you’re already in your 40s? Cheers, my friend. We’re all in this wild, sugar-fueled, nap-needing, sexually-awakened ride together.

  Now excuse me while I go have a snack and a nap before planning my next…activity

  March 19, 2025

  health, life, mental-health, napping, writing

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