Listen, I’m all for kicking bad habits, but let me tell you—never fall asleep with a nicotine patch on unless you want to wake up questioning your entire existence.
No one warned me. No one pulled me aside and said, “Hey, if you slap that thing on before bed, you might find yourself in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, fighting off demon cats while reciting exorcism prayers you didn’t even know you knew.” But here I am, your official warning label.
It started off innocent enough. Thinking I’ll put this on and I won’t vape in the morning. Fast forward and I’m locked in some fever-dream horror film where the world is ending, my daughters animals have turned against me, biblical phrases are spilling out of my mouth like I’m trained exorcist.
At one point, I was literally yelling, “The power of Christ compels you!” at a cat with glowing red eyes. Where did I even learn that?! No idea. But in the dream, I was ready to throw hands a demonKitty.
Moral of the story? If you value your sanity, remove the damn nicotine patch before bed.
Consider yourself warned.
Raw.Real.Recovered. 